The Middle name and My Dream...

30 weeks 3 days...

On Sunday Jeremy & I got to go hunting. While you are sitting in a tree stand for 3 hours there's not awhole lot you can do...but there is a lot you can think about and sitting w/a buddy...talk about...quietly. We have been going back and forth on what we think Clay's middle name should be. We either wanted a "B" name so his and Crystal's initials would both be "CBL" or we also thought about Mason being his middle name...since Mason was the reason he was here. We like Mason for his middle name...but sometimes Crystal stills says stuff like "when Clay and Mason get here" and we think having his middle name be Mason would maybe be too confusing for her right now. We know she knows Clay and Mason are 2 separate people...but we don't want to make her think that Mason is physically party of Clay. It sounds really weird...but that's the best I can try to describe what we don't want to happen.

So...back on track...I think we have finally came up w/Clay's middle name. This isn't set in stone just yet...but...drum roll please...........

Clay Briley Lance

Briley comes from a name of the Parkway in Nashville, TN that leads ya to the Bass Pro Shop and the HUGE mall down there. I know people probably think we have weird ways of coming up w/names...but we have method down about it. We LOVE Nashville, TN, we LOVE the Bass Pro Shop, and I LOVE that mall...plus the Grand Ole Opry is there that we LOVE and the road that leads us to that is Briley Parkway. Like I said...it's not 100% set...but we are 99% sure. We'll probably finally decide once he gets here and just see if it fits him.

And I wanted to type down this dream I had last night. For those who know...being pregnant w/Clay has been a roller coaster ride of emotions, nerves, anxiety, excitement...just everything you could imagine going through after loosing a baby. I've really only had 1 dream about Mason...and it was a good peaceful one and he was happy and smiling and being held by a man dressed in something white flowing. There was no sound, no talking, just me looking @ Mason and knowing he's ok. I was really afraid after we lost him and we got pregnant again I would have nightmares of loosing this baby...but I haven't. In fact last night was the 1st time I've dreamt about Clay. The only part I can really remember is we were in the hospital room and he was born crying & screaming. I got to touch him and then the nurses took him to clean him up. They wrapped him up and handed him back to me and Jeremy. We were both bawling our eyes out!! I asked them to let Crystal in so she could be in there w/us and when they opened the room she came running in say "Mommy, Daddy, I heard Clay crying...I think we wants me...he's here and ok and he's alive". She climbed up on my bed and all four of us sat there just watching & smiling @ Clay and he kept looking at us. The nurses and doctors all left the room for a moment and for some reason the word "Complete" popped up on the tv screen. then I woke up crying my eyes out because I have been praying to God everyday that we don't have to ever lose another child.

I hope this dream was a sign of what is to come in the next couple of months. I'm trying to do what I think is right and what my doctor suggests and so far things are going good. I'm really nervous about my next appointment because they are going to be doing an ultrasound to check for knots in Clay's cord. A part of me wants to know if there are any...but I think the bigger part doesn't. I've already been told that if there is...there is nothing they can do right now other than more monitoring and praying. I've been told over and over by my doctor, nurses, other doctors...that what happened w/Mason and those knots are soooooo rare and that it shouldn't happen again.

Ok..so after all those tears and stuff...I did forget to add in my last blog that we have an option of them taking Clay either on Dec. 4th or Dec. 11th...which would mean he would probably be here Dec. 5th or Dec. 12th. We are considering maybe going until the 11th because #1...the longer he stays in the healthier he'll come out (as long as everything is good w/his heartbeat) and #2...if he arrives on Dec. 12th...then him and Crystal's bday will both be the 12th day of the months. But of course all of this really depends alot on how Clay is doing w/HR and his weight and my anxiety and nerves.

So...these next couple of months are going to start getting a little emotionally tough for us...so just please try to keep us and our families in your prayers.