Everything that I need to catch up on...LOL!

37 wks. 3 days...

It feels like soooo much has went on since the last time I updated. I think I left off w/Thanksgiving. So I'll just start there :-)

Thanksgiving...the day was really smooth and didn't really over eat because Clay was helping giving my stomach exercises by kicking it or head butting it...which ever body part was up there...lol! We had lunch w/my mom's side of the family and then went to Jeremy's parents for supper. I was very worn out by 7pm. All in all we had a very good Thanksgiving and are soooo thankful for everything and everybody we have in our lives :-)

Friday...Black Friday....I kind of wanted to go shopping...but I knew being pregnant...that was the worst idea...unless we wanted to have him on that day...lol! Instead we woke up to our house freezing because our furnace quit working!! Luckily we have a friend who keeps everything and had the part we needed to get it up and going :-) Then we headed for Eville cause Dr. Ramsey wanted me to come to Triage to do my testing...since the offices were closed. Everything went good there and Clay got perfect scores! Then we headed to the circus. We were a little late...but Crystal enjoyed it anyway...AND she got to see the elephants which was the part she was looking forward to the most!! Clay was WILD during the circus...so I think he enjoyed it too ;-)

Saturday was just a relax day. I've been battling this cough that came w/my sinus/allergy crap. Plus on top of that @ my last dr. app I pulled a stomach muscle from coughing. So I really couldn't do a lot of anything other than ice my belly.

Sunday we went to church. I think people were a little puzzled when we walked in & I was still pregnant...lol! They thought Clay was coming on the 23rd...and hadn't been updated of the changes. Sunday was a relaxing day too...we went to my mom and dad's for lunch and that was about it. I love these kind of days :-)

Today...Monday was a doc. app. Testing went all good again and the US showed Clay is laying transverse...w/his spine down. Dr. Ramsey said if he stays in this position...she doesn't feel comfortable turning him because we could do major damage. BUT...this child doesn't stay in the same position from one app to another...so we'll see where he's @ on Wed. and then again Friday morning. His HR was 147 and the cord is still kind of in a good place. It's like a scarf...it goes around the back of his neck then over his shoulders and down. At least it's not around his neck...so I pray for it to stay out of his way. I couldn't believe this...but I actually lost 2 lbs. since Wed. (the day before Thanksgiving)!!!! Don't ask me how cause I really don't know...but I won't complain :-)

So wondering what's going to happen w/Friday...here's how it's going down:
We have to be in Triage @ 5am (EARLY!!!!). They will do a quick ultrasound to see where he's at. If he's head down or in a good position to be turned then they will do that and start pitocin asap hard & heavy (yea-rah!!) If he can't be turned then I am scheduled for a csection @ 730am. I will have one of my friends post something on my facebook wall to keep everybody updated as much as we can. I just pray that things continue to stay going good and that no matter how he comes out...he's healthy, breathing good, & safe.

So there are the details. I go back to the dr. on Wed. and they will do a weight check on him. I'm anxious to see how much he weighs because the last time they did one...it was on 11/12 & he weighed 5lbs. 11oz. Sorry for no more good ultrasound pics either...he's all squished in there that we can't tell anything...other than his little boy part shows up nice and clear...lol!!

I'll update briefly on Wed. night :-)

11/23/2009...my CRAZY day!!!

36 wks. 3days...

We all thought that Monday-Tuesday we were going to get to meet Clay. Well...plans changed and here's how this day went...

Got up @ 430am to leave to be down @ the hospital @ 6am for an amniocentesis. Jeremy went ahead and worked and my mom took me down because even if they were going to do anything it wouldn't have been until that evening. So got down there got the paper work all filled and & got in a room and got hooked up to the heart monitors. The nurse said there was a woman in the room getting one done and as soon as she was done it was my turn. I was nervous because I had no idea what to expect plus some of the things that could happen. So the nurse leaves and then about 5 mins. later we hear all this running around and the nurses saying the amnio had crashed & they needed to take the patient back now for an emergency csection. Plus they were saying lots of other medical terminology that I DID know (thanks to having a degree in the medical field). I know my face was turning white & I was about to get sick!! Then they came out 3 mins. later saying mom and baby were fine. This girl was also 36 wks. and some days. I'm pretty sure the baby's HR either dropped dangerously low or stopped completely. Jeremy said I should have walked out @ that point but honestly...I was frozen because I kept thinking...OMG that could be me next?!?!?!?!?!
About 20 mins. later they came into the room and told me it was my time. I had HUGE tears swelling in my eyes and they specialist and US tech told me everything was going to be fine. I couldn't hold it back and said "I hope my goes better than the woman who was just in here." They kind of looked @ me w/suspension and I told them "I heard what just went on and knew what you were saying...I have a degree in the medical field plus I use to work here." The room was silent for a second because they knew that I knew exactly what happened and it was because of this amnio. LUCKILY mine went good and Clay's HR never dropped or anything. I couldn't wait though to get back to my room and get on that monitor. Once I did I kept a close eye on the #'s for at least 1/2 hr!!
I had to stay on the monitors for at least 2 hrs. then after that I was allowed to get up and walk around. My 2 hrs. came and my mom and I went for a walk to stretch. We came back to my room intending to rest a little until the results from the amnio came back but that didn't happen because then I started having contractions ever 2-3 mins & they were lasting for about 45 mins. My 1st thought was (sorry for the bad word but it's honestly what I said) "Shit...this ain't good cause Clay isn't even in the right position and I don't have test results!!!!!" So the nurse came in and started another bad of saline and I laid on my left side and they gradually went away.
Thank God they did because the results came back from the amnio that Clay's lungs were still premature AND luckily my doctor over ruled the specialist (he wanted to take Clay on 11/20) and said we were going to give him more time to mature and maybe even get turned on his own.
After getting that news they let me eat and drink ( I was sooooo hungry and thirsty) and this was about 230pm. After I inhaled my food (lol) then they wanted 20 more mins of good monitoring of Clay's HR. OHHH...I forgot to mention that the nurse was having to come in every 15 mins to put Clay back on the monitors. This was literally from the time I got there until I got to leave which was about 4pm. He kept rolling from side to side....just like his big sister did the night we went in to have her...funny cause now I really see a "Crystal JR." in our future...lol!!!
So we got the good 20 mins of continuous monitoring and then FINALLY got to go home.
I got home and jumped into bed. I did have 1 contraction so I got up and drank a glass full of water and laid on my left side and fell asleep.
I got to take about an hr. nap until I smelled Jeremy bringing in pizza for supper. Clay was worn out so I actually got to sleep good last night. I was worried how he's be from being moved around and poked but this morning he woke me up as usual kicking :-)
Alot of people say yesterday was a waste...but I don't look @ it as that. There was a lot of things that could have gone wrong but didn't. Plus we saw what Clay's HR would do being under stress, contractions, and just the worry I was going through throughout the whole day. It just goes to show that w/the power of prayers & God's strength the day went smoothly and I'm soooooo thankful for all of it!!!! I hate the fact that I & Clay had to go through all of that...but I can breathe easier now that yesterday is over. Plus not to mention that now we get to have our December baby like we had planned. That is if he decides to stay in there...which my motherly instincts say he's going to be fine and will be here that 1st weekend of Dec.
Keep the prayers coming :-)

36 weeks appointments!

36 wks...

Tuesday I had my round of appointments. 1st was NST. Clay had to get buzzed a couple of times because he was napping. But after the nurse buzzed him he was wide awake kicking and carrying on and got 8/8 on the 1st test. Next was ultrasound. The tech started the scan and to all of our surprise this little booger was BREECH!!!! I about came out of that chair when I saw that because even though he was laying sideways @ some apps. he was still mainly head down. So he really threw a curve ball @ us on Tues w/the breech position. He was also facing the inside of me soooo...no good 3D pics but we did get one of his arms. He looks like he's going to be a strong little stink when he comes out ;-) The tech also checked the cord and it's not around his neck...so good news there!! His HR was 129. Then it was off to see Dr. Ramsey. My BP was nice and low and I had gained 1/2 a pound. Dr. Ramsey was shocked too to see Clay breech but said that there was still plenty of time for him to go back and as much as he's been moving it's something that is highly possible. So...good appointment on that day :-)

Friday was round #2 for the week. I started off in ultrasound 1st and Clay is still somewhat breech but laying more in a "C" position w/his butt more towards my left. That was good news because maybe he's trying to turn and get back to the head down position...we hope!! Cord placement was good & his HR was 136. Still no good 3D pics because of him being all snuggled up to my back. He began his nap right in the middle of testing so the tech had to shake my belly a little to get him to wake up just enough to move one more time. He did and got a perfect score on that, Then it was off to the NST. He did a really job there and only got buzzed 1 time which was @ the very beginning just to get him going. Then off to see Dr. Ramsey. Tues. Clay through us a curve ball and on Fri. Dr. Ramsey did. She came in and asked how things were going...which have been really good. She said there is a change of plans. My 1st thought was since things were going sooooo good she wanted me to go longer than Dec. 4th. I was wrong... When I went to the specialist 2 wks. ago they did a much of blood work just checking for a lot of extra stuff. Dr. Ramsey got the results and in my blood there is a clotting factor that she said 20% of pregnant woman get. I guess it makes you blood thicker which could cause blood clots. We don't know if I had this w/Mason but when I had him he did have blood clots in his cord...BUT @ that time they were 99% sure that those clots where formed from the knot. So now w/this pregnancy and having those 2 strikes against me...plus not to mention the hypothyroidism, him changing positions, and just the whole thing that happened w/Mason my doc. highly recommends going ahead and inducing me Monday night. 1st though I have to be down @ the hospital @ 6am for an amniocentesis to see how much or if any steroids Clay's lungs need. We will get the results back that afternoon and if they come back too premature then we will hold off on having him. If they come back good then I'll be induced Mon. evening and hopefully have Clay here on Tues!! My mom is going down w/me during the day on Mon. and Jeremy is going to go ahead and work Mon and then come down after he gets off work. Dr. Ramsey said they won't do anything until that evening so there is no point in him wasting a vacation day to sit @ the hospital all day. I will be under monitoring from the time the amnio starts until Clay gets here by ultrasound and the heart monitors so that makes me feel good that they will be keeping that close of an eye on things.

I will try to see if the hospital will let me borrow a laptop and keep updates on the computer. If I can't then I'll probably have my mother-in-law log into my account and do updates that way. Crystal is alllllll excited and can't wait to hold Clay!! I'm be missing her though because she's got to stay the night w/Jeremy's mom and dad Sun. night and then we won't get to see her again until Tues sometime. This will be the longest we've stayed away from her...so I HAVE to remember to bring my phone charger because there will be lots of calls made just to hear her voice. She's also excited because we are having a "baby shower" @ the hospital and she's got balloons and her & her mamaw are going to bake a big cookie and decorate it for people to eat when they come visit. She's going to stay 2 nights w/Jeremy's mom and dad and then 2 nights w/my mom and dad and then hopefully we'll be home and will start the next chapter of our lives as a family of 4!!

So just to clarify...nothing is wrong w/Clay...my doctor just wants to be safe than sorry and if the amnio shows he's ready to come out...then we are going to have the BEST Thanksgiving ever :-)

So if you need updates just watch my page or Jeremy's mom (Kelly) my mom (Delores), my sister (Amy) or any of my friends, Amy Evans, Natalie Conrad, Reyna McKinney, Danielle Shadwick...I'm sure word will spread fast. Keep us in your prayers that everything goes how it needs to go and that we have a healthy little boy here shortly :-)

35 wks. appointments

35 wks. 1 day...

I figured w/all these doctor appointments and such I'd start combining my blogs for them. So we'll start out w/the appointment I had this Tuesday. Ultrasound went good. Clay was laying sideways & had his face buried so we didn't get very good pics of him. He weighed 5lbs. 9oz. which meant he had gained 1/2 lb. since Friday which was only 4 days ago!!! So needless to say he's growing really good :-) I think his HR was around 137 BPM. The NST went really good and he passed both tests w/perfect scores. My BP was good and I hadn't gained any weight...still holding @ 17 lbs. gained. Afterwards my mom, Crystal, & I went to Babies-R-Us & Target and I got all I need know for Clay arrival...so we are set!!

Then Fridays appointment was another good one. I was a little nervous w/it being Friday the 13th...but I thought positive thoughts. Well...doing that paid off...it was one of the best Friday the 13ths I've ever had!! 1st the ultrasound...he was head down...finally and again :-) I knew he had changed positions because the day before I could feel his little butt, legs, and feet in my right ribs. He started doing this rocking motion and it felt like he was going to pop open my ribs like a soda pop!!! It hurt and I hope he's figured that since it was that difficult to get there...then maybe he'll just stay there :-) He weighed 5lbs. 13 oz so another 4 oz gained in just 3 days!!! He was kind of laying on his side and we got some really good 3D pics of him!!! The tech & I was having sooooo much fun taking pics of him. In some of them you can tell how much hair he has...he's going to be a handsome little guy is all I can say :-) His HR was 139 BPM and he did he's breathing the whole time I was in there. Then the NST was next. By this time the gummy bears I had ate to get him active had worn off...so I had to be on the monitor for 40 mins and Clay had to get buzzed 3 times!!! He just wanted to sleep by that point...poor little guy. But he did end up passing that one too. Afterwards I went to see Dr. Ramsey and she said everything is looking perfect!! That was such great news to hear...even though I have been seeing that he's been doing good...it's good to hear it come from the doctor too!! She reminded me that anytime I needed to bail out because of nerves and anxiety I could do so between 36-38 wks. Right now my nerves and anxiety are surprisingly low and under control. I think it's been the extra testing and seeing how good Clay's been doing that is keeping them that way. I would LOVE to be able to get my hands on him next Friday or Saturday...but I know waiting until Dec. 4th will be better for him. So we are still sticking to that :-) I had gained 1/2 lb so I'm @ 17 1/2 lbs. gained. Don't ask me how I do it because I am eating and not really exercising. I guess just lucky. My BP was good again...I think it was 100/62.

We are all getting very excited and can't wait to meet Clay!!! I can tell that these past couple of months have been a little rough on me emotionally but now that we are getting sooooo close to having Clay here and he's doing soooo good on his testing...I feel like my life and emotions are pulling back together. I will tell anybody and everybody...you can call my kids spoiled because they are and will be...w/lots of love, hugs, & kisses. After last yr. and loosing Mason, I don't worry about those little things and know that all that counts is making sure I give my kids the best lives they could ever imagine :-) I sometimes feel like Thomas the Train...I went from "I think I can, I think I can" to "I know I can, I know I can". So please continue to keep those prayers coming our way. They are working and keeping all of us strong!! Enjoy the pics...and just think...2 weeks and 6 days until I have hospital pics up...HOW EXCITING!!!!!!

This was one from Fri.

This is one from Tues...he's looking down and has his mouth open.

This is Fridays...got that mouth open again!

I LOVE this one!!! In my text I sent out w/this pic was "5lbs. 13oz of pure perfection". And you can see his hair!!

This one is from Fri. too. I think he's looking alot like Crystal did after she was born.

This Wild week of 3 OB appointments & 1 Crystal appointment!!

34 weeks...4 days

This week has been full of doctor's appointments!!! So I'll just start w/the 1st one.

Tues...My doctor app. w/ultrasound, NST, and Dr. Ramsey. As far as I can remember things went really good. I had ate a chicken sandwich from Wendy's on my way down to the doctor and apparently Clay REALLY likes them!!! He was a little wild man on the NST!! He passed both test w/perfect scores. My BP was good...I had gained 1lbs. which put me @ 17lbs. gained...not too bad for 34 wks :-)

Here are some pics that we got from that ultrasound. I think he was a little diagonal for this appointment but still mainly head down.

This one he's laying on his arm sleeping. You can see his little elbow out front there by his mouth :-)

He was pushing on my...and I could feel it!! Look @ that strong little foot and leg!

Wed. Crystal had her 4 yr. doctor appointment. She weighs 40 lbs. and is 40 in. tall!!!! She really is growing up wayyyyy tooooooo fast!!! She did really good and like always entertained the nurse and Dr. Meyers. She thought it was neat that she got to wear a gown to get checked out in...silly little thing :-) Dr. Meyers said next yr she'll get her physical for school and her booster shots. She won't start school until Aug. 2011 because of how her bday falls. I'm glad cause that will give me a yr. @ home w/her and Clay.

Thurs. was my specialist appointment. I was kind of nervous but felt much better afterwards. This day also marked the 1 yr. anniversary of when we were told Mason no longer had a heartbeat. I was upset but yet I knew I couldn't be down because I needed to be strong for Clay. My ultrasound took 45 mins!!! That machine up there is AWESOME!! They did a very detailed scan of everything from his brain, heart, and even blood vessels going to his kidneys and stomach. Clay was head down and laying on his right side so we got some really good 3D pics of him!!! The news we were there to discover came back that his cord is not around his neck! It comes up over 1 shoulder and then down by his jaw line and then down. I was sooooo thankful to receive such great news on that. The specialist said he would induce me @ 36 wks. if I wanted but I'd have to have an amniocentesis to see how strong Clay's lungs were. I told him I wanted to talk to Dr. Ramsey & Jeremy 1st...which he was fine with. They also weighed him and he was 5lbs. 1oz. so he's growing good!! The specialist did mention something about my placenta looking more mature than I have far along. Once again he said that would be grounds for an early induction too.

Here is a 3D pic...he's sleeping soooo peacefully and did such a good job!!

We have a pic of Crystal @ 4-5 days old and she's sitting in her swing and these 2 pics look identical to each other!!!

His foot again!! They keep on showing up in his ultrasounds now...lol!!

Then on Friday I had my regular appointment w/an ultrasound, NST, & Dr. Ramsey. I had the ultrasound tech look @ my placenta and she said on a scale of 0-3 w/0 being very bad and 3 being the best mine looks to be between a 2-3 which is where is needs to be at. I was really relieved to hear that because I didn't want to really have to deliver @ 36 wks. and take chances on Clay being in the NICCU...unless it's life or death for him. He was back to being sideways again...little booger just can't get comfy in there...lol!! We got some pics of him actually awake and smiling and sucking his thumb!!! I really loved the smiling pic because the day marked the 1 yr. anniversary of when Mason was actually born and I had a rough morning...but was able to pull through the day. On the NST he did really good @ 1st and then decided to take a nap. So he had to get buzzed to finish his test but got perfect scores on both test :-). Then I talked to Dr. Ramsey for a little while. We went over the app. w/the specialist and the ultrasounds and have decided that as long as Clay is doing good on his tests and is kicking good then we are going to keep the Dec. 4th date for the induction...which will make me 38 wks. We also decided that between the 36-38 wks. we will do testing 3 times a week for a safe measure and if at any point my nerves become too much for me to handle then I can bale out and go ahead w/an early induction. I really believe though that as long as Clay's doing good and kicking good...I can do my part and keep myself under control. I've got alot of people that I can talk to or turn to if I need to...to keep me strong and going. Here are some pics that we got from that ultrasound.

He's smiling @ us :-) He knew his mommy needed that...esp. on this day!! I love him soooo much :-)

He's got his mouth open and ready for that thumb to go in...

...and he succeeded :-) Little thumb sucker!!

So that is how all my appointments went this week. Next wk I go Tues & Fri. It's kind of nice being down there because on Friday I got a little bit of Christmas shopping done...more looking than buying because some little redhead was w/me and you can't sneak anything past that child!! I'm going to try to go to a couple of my apps. by myself so I can buy a little more without Crystal finding out what it was.

Keep praying for us...we still need it and we are all sooooo thankfull to have such wonderful & supportive friends to help us through all this. :-)

Mason Wyatt Lance 11/6/2008-11/6/2009

I can't believe it's been a year since we lost Mason. In some ways I couldn't wait for this day to get here because that meant no more "1st without him". But in other ways I knew this day would be a proving point that God wouldn't ever give us more than we can handle. This has been one tough year for all of us but I knew for Mason's sake...I couldn't let myself get so down that I thought life wouldn't continue on....I knew it would. We have had so much support, love, caring, prayers, thoughts...and not only from family & friends but from strangers too. When we were in the hospital last year we received gifts and cards from people who were friends of our friends...but we had never met them...they just knew what we were going through because they had been @ that point not too long ago. I also met a girl who I've stayed in contact with, shared stories and pictures with and she has been a huge help. It's kind of like we have our own support group between the two of us. I've been able to help her know how she might feel because we lost Mason 3 months before she lost her baby. So Thanks Chelsa for being there & for all the prayers!! I also kind of reconnected w/an old friend because of their loss just a few months ago. We too have shared stories, pictures, prayers, thoughts, laughs and crys. She a big support to me too because I know I can call her and she'll cry over the phone w/me...Thank you sooooo much Danielle for being there.

I'm not going to talk to much about the past because my whole goal after we lost Mason was to keep moving forward...even if it was baby steps but to always remember him. So...have I accomplished that...YES :-) He is and will always be part of our lives. I was so afraid that people would forget about him...esp when we got pregnant w/Clay. But they haven't and I'm so thankful for that. When people ask Crystal about her getting a baby brother...she lets them know very quickly that she has 2 baby brothers...one in mommy's belly which is Clay and one that lives in heaven w/Jesus which is Mason. I'm glad she clarifies that part about 2 babies because people quite often think we are having twins...esp if they know about mine and Jeremy's sisters!!

I've also been amazed @ how much Crystal has been there for me. 3 year old don't get enough credit. She has handled this past year and getting pregnant again w/Clay so well. She knows exactly where Mason is and knows that ANY time she can see him and talk to him. She has a star that we call "Mason Star". It's the brightest star in the sky @ night. Every night we'll talk to it & she'll play peek-a-boo because she knows that Mason is looking down on us and keeping us all safe and healthy know. I don't know what I'd do without her. If there was ever a reason to keep going day to day...it's all because of her. I call her my "Little Miss Sunshine" because when I have a bad day, she knows, and she'll tell me it's going to be ok and that Mason doesn't want me to cry anymore. Then she'll go get me some toilet paper and wipe my tears, give me a big hug and kiss. That makes any days the best days of my life :-)

Of course Jeremy has been as big of a rock as Crystal has. I don't know how many nights I cried myself to sleep laying w/him, wrapped up in his arms. When I feel my weakest he has always been right there. There's a lot of times when I don't have to say a word and he knows how I feel. Like Crystal...he's the reason for going day to day and makes my bad days turn better. We have grown closer and stronger together. I don't think he'll ever know how much I love him.

So where do we go now...what do we do know. I know that my family and I will keep going forward and trust that God will get us through any more rough patches we might come across. I also know not only do we have God helping us...but a very special little boy is up there keeping Clay and me safe during my pregnancy. I also know there is no doubt that I have an guardian angel. My heart still aches but I know one of these days I'll see him again and won't have to ever put him down or say goodbye. Mason will never be replaced...after all he was my original "Little Wild Man", got me addicted to BBQ, and beat up on his sister from the 1st time he could kick. He is loved more and more everyday :-)

34 week appointment Part #1

34 weeks...

Look @ that foot and leg!!! No wonder I can feel him everytime he kicks w/a flipper like that...lol!!! Definitely takes after Jeremy on that end!

His face...how cute!!! And he's got some cheeks on him too!

His HR was 154 BPM

So...I had a regular doctor's appointment today. 1st was the ultrasound. Clay's HR was 154. He's laying a little diagonal...but still mainly head down. Dr. Ramsey doesn't think he'll try to flip...but you never know. With him being in this position we got some pics of him. He's such a cutie...and I think he's going to be a little chuncker too!!! He did his breathing the whole time...which is excellent!! He's now got hair all around his head too! The cord still looked about the same but w/him getting bigger it's harder to see. I still go see the specialist this Thurs. and Dr. Ramsey said they'll be able to tell alot more.

2nd was NST. By this time I had a wild little man on my hands!!! Needless to say he did all he needed to in 10 mins. but the nurse kept me on there another 10 mins just to see what all else we could get. I kept getting asked what I had ate to make him move so much. Apparently he likes chicken sandwiches from Wendy's cause that's what I had...plus about 7 livesaver gummy bears. It was soooo funny cause there was another girl who came in while I was doing my NST. I heard her telling the nurse her baby is usually quiet. The nurse got her on the monitor and he started out quiet but I guess Clay influenced him w/all his kicking and carrying on to do the same because that other baby became wild too!!! It sounded like the battle of babies on the NST machines!!! The nurse said she was surprised but glad that I didn't have any contractions during that 20 mins.

3rd was to see Dr. Ramsey. She said everything looked good and both tests and he got perfect scores on both. She said she's anxious to see what the specialist has to say because they will be able to see lots more. My BP was 108/48 and I gained 1 lb which puts me to 17 lbs. gained. I told them about my back pain I had last night and having to cuddle w/the heating pad....and I kind of got in trouble for being too active on Sunday@ our nephews bday party. But they are glad to hear that it was just 1 day...and the heating pad took the pain away. Dr. Ramsey said also we can probably count on pre-term labor being out of the picture since Clay was sooo active today on the NST and I didn't have any contractions.

So...I'll be updated sometime on Thurs. w/the specialist appointment. I also need to update about Grant and Gabriel's 1st bday party...I'll try to find some time to do that :-) Hope you enjoy the pictures and keep those prayers coming!!

33 week appointment Part #2

33 weeks 5 days...

This week starts my 2 times a week doctor's appointment w/ultrasounds and NST both times...which I'm glad about because we get to see Clay and hear his heartbeat and just keep a close eye on him. So Monday I didn't have a good appointment because the ultrasound tech discovered his cord was around his neck 2 times already and he was still transverse. I'll have to admit that was the most scared I've ever been. I kept telling myself not to get too upset because there are other babies born w/cords around their necks and they are alive and healthy...but the fear of loosing another baby stayed in the back of my mind. So after Monday I talked to alot of people...family, friends, and even our preacher and they gave me encouraging words to lift my spirit. Then when I woke up Tues and saw all the comments people had posted for us on my facebook account...I bawled my eyes out!!! There are some people who are pregnant themselves and taking time to pray for us...I felt soooo blessed and just reading all those comments made some of the nervousness and anxiety go away. I don't know why...it just did.

So then on Friday I had my round of ultrasound, NST, & Dr. Ramsey. 1st the ultrasound...The first thing we saw is he's head down, butt straight up and face down...ready for delivery!!! Prayer #1 had been answered :-) I asked the tech what the chances were of him flipping again and she said not very likely. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that she is right...but I can also tell things are getting tight in there and there isn't much room for him to move. Then comes the cord scanning. I have to say I was about to puke when she started that because of what Monday's ultrasound showed. She got to scanning and I noticed things didn't look the same this time as they did on Monday. I asked what she thought about his cord and she said that it appears to either #1 not be around his neck...just draped around the back of his neck (kind of like a scarf) or #2 if it is around his neck...it's definitely only 1 time and it's loose. She showed me some places where you could see fluid between the cord and him. OMG!!!! What a HUGE relief and probably the most important prayer I've said so far has been 3/4 of the way answered (it's not 100% until he gets here alive and healthy!). That tech made my day and became my best friend for the day...lol!!! We didn't get any pics of him because his face was buried down. So we got to see the back of his head and hair, his spine, heart, and 1 arm which was up by his head. I told that tech that as long as he stays in that position I'm ok w/not getting any pics!!

Then it was onto the NST. I forgot to mention that my app. started @ 1215pm which is the beginning of Clay's nap time. He's usually quite from 12-3pm then wakes up as soon as Jeremy gets home. I guess he loves hearing his daddy's voice :-) So during the NST he had to get buzzed 4 or 5 times to move to increase his HR and then go back down. Poor little guy...plus every time she buzzed him he'd move away from the little thing that was picking up his HR and we would only get 1/2 of what we needed. I'll have to remember to eat gummy worms before those apps. because on Mon. I did and he passed his test in 15 mins...compared to the 40 mins it took him yesterday!! But he did pass both the BPP w/the ultrasound and NST. Oh and his HR was 121 BPM.

Then it was to see Dr. Ramsey. My BP was 112/52 and I'm still holding @ 16 lbs. gained. I'll have to admit...I'm not eating as much because #1 I'm not hungry (that happens when you have body parts pushing up on your stomach...lol) and #2 everything I eat gives me bad heartburn...so I've just been eating small portions. Yogurt has been a really good friend to me because it doesn't give me HB and if I have HB...it gets rid of it! She told me she was very happy w/the ultrasound and thinks that maybe he rolled and got at least 1 wrap undone from his neck. She said on Mon. he definitely had that cord around their 2 times. She still wants to me to take it easy and not be bending over alot or carrying anything heavy. I did that after Mon. and it worked out for me...so I'm continuing to do that. She also said that maybe Jeremy could become "Susie Homemaker" for the rest of the pregnancy...lol!!!

This next week is going to be a hectic one!! Sun. is our nephew's 1st bday so we have their bday party to go to. I can't wait for that one...I heard there is going to be a wanna be Cookie Monster there?!?!?!?! Then Mon. is work day, Tues is 1st round of US, NST, & Doc. app, Wed is work day and Crystal's 4 yrs. doc app, Thurs is round#2 of US w/the specialist and maybe work day, and Fri is round #3 of US, NST, & doc. app w/maybe a work day plus it's Mason's 1 yr anniversary. Then Sat. Jeremy has to work and I think we are going to our church's fall festival, and then Sun we have 2 birthday parties to go to. Busy, Busy, Busy...but it's all for reassurance and good!!

So keep the prayers coming and I'll keep the updates coming too!!

Hope everybody has a safe and Happy Halloween!!!

33 weeks appointment

33 weeks 1 day...

His 3D pic...he's getting kind of cramped in there so it's getting harder to see his face. This is kind of a profile...you can see his forehead, eye, nose, & cheek.

The top of his head is to the right. You can see his eyes (which I think were open) and his nose.

His HR... 143 BPM

Showing off that he's all boy in there...little stinker!!

I had my doc. app. today and for the most part everything went good. Got some unexpected news...but I'll get to that in a little bit.

So I had my NST 1st. I ate some gummy bears about 20 mins before my app. and Clay was pretty active. Needless to say we got all we needed in 15 mins w/that test because he was moving good and his HR was doing everything it needed to while he was or wasn't moving. He got a perfect 8/8 on his testing so he's doing good in that area!!

2nd was my ultrasound. Right away again we saw him breathing and his little heart was going good. His HR was 143. He's changed positions again...his head is kind of down and to my left side, his body lays across the bottom of my and his feet are up in my right ribs. He's almost in the up/down position w/his head being down...but not quite. He weighs 4lbs. 6 oz. He's got more hair too!!! You could see it sticking out in the back like little needles...it was soooooo cute!!! He was very proud to show us yet again that he's a little boy still...lol!!! We couldn't get a good 3D pic of him because of how he was laying...but we got 1...which is better than none. The tech was scanning his cord again this time...and I noticed when she was scanning the top of his head you could see the red/blue colors (which is the blood in the cord) made a perfect little circle. At first I thought "why is his cord in a circle on top of his head" then I kind of put it together. I asked the tech if his cord looked good and she said everything looked fine and Dr. Ramsey would take a closer look @ things. I didn't ask if his cord was around his neck...but it was kind of obvious that it was.

So I went to see Dr. Ramsey. My BP was 114/52 and I didn't gain any weight...so still holding @ 16 lbs!!! Dr. Ramsey came in and said "I'm going to up front and honest w/ya so here it goes". That's when I knew what I saw was probably true. She said he does have his cord around his neck 2 times but it's not anything to go into a major panic attack because 4 out 5 babies are born w/cords around the neck. She said they didn't see any knots...but couldn't say 100% that was for sure...because we are relaying on the machine and can't actually get in there a see. She said there were a few things that she wants to do out of precaution and try to prevent anything bad from happening.

So 1st...I have to see the specialist and they will rescan me. They will be able to look @ the cord a lot better and give a better opinion on what to do next. If the next step is a life/death situation then an amniocentesis will be done to see how Clay's lungs are and how much steroids to start giving me to make them stronger. Then they will take him @ 36 wks. which will be Nov. 20th. Depending on how he's doing he might/might not have to spend any time in the NICCU. If they scan me and don't think the cord is going to be a problem then I'll go until 38 wks. which will be Dec. 4th. Either way I have an option of a Csection if I want and if they think it would be better for Clay. They also want to me to still come down 2 times a week starting this week...so I'll be down again on Fri. I think they are going to do an US and NST w/each visit. This way they can watch his breathing, HR, weight gain, & moving.

Just when I think I'm taking my next step forward...I feel like I'm being forced back w/this little but huge information about the cord. Plus not to mention that next Fri. (11/6) is Mason's 1 yrs. anniversary of loosing him. I knew the next few weeks were going to be tough...but they just got 10 times harder. I'm back to asking "why", I'm back to feeling like I'm doing something wrong. All I want is for Clay to get here safe, alive, & healthy. Haven't I been tested enough?!?!?!?!? I've got all those mixed emotions going through my head...I want to be happy & smile without crying and know everything is going to be ok. I don't want this feeling of paranoid, anxiety, & nervousness because I know it's not good for me or Clay. It is sooooo much easier said than done to say to "stay positive". I know I've complained before about how Clay had kicked all night long and I didn't get a lot of sleep...but if that's going to be the way to know he's ok...then that's what I'll take. I'll get sleep some other time.

Ok...I need to refocus and think positive...The doctors are going to do everything possible they can and get Clay here safe and sound and I've just got to accept that whatever happens...God has a reason. So...PLEASE keep all of us in your thoughts and prayers. We need them now more than ever. We've got this far and I pray that God takes us all the way we need to a happy, safe, alive, healthy little Clay that will be snuggled w/lots of love, kisses, and hugs.

Pictures today!!

33 weeks...

Today we had some pics taken of Crystal for her 4 yr. pics. We did a couple of outfits for her and she did sooooo good!!! She was cracking us up w/her poses and little quirky moves!!! Then after shots of just her we did some family pics and I think Cliff (the photographer) did some close ups of her and my belly. Then we did some pics of just her & my belly. By this time she was getting a little difficult to deal w/so Cliff did some pics of just me and my belly.

See last year he tried to talk me into doing some while I was pregnant w/Mason and just didn't really feel 100% comfortable doing them. I guess it's just a self image issue plus I was always uncomfortable no matter what I was doing and just wanted to lay down all the time. I now really regret not doing them after loosing Mason...so when Cliff suggested it this time I told him I would. I'm really glad that I did too because it was a lot of fun and I felt like I was being pampered...what girl doesn't want to feel like that when she's big and preggers...lol!!!

So I'm really excited to get them and see how they look. He showed me some as we were going and they were turning out really good. I'll get an unedited disc to select pics off of & then he'll retouch and do his cropping and stuff on the pics that I select. Like I said...I'm really glad I got these done and can't wait to see them...don't worry...I'll plaster them all over the place too...lol!!!

This next week isn't going to be too hectic. I've got a doc. app. w/an US & NST tomorrow so I'm definitely looking forward to that and hoping to get some good pics!! Then Fri & Sat will be halloweening @ Princeton & Owensville and then Sun. is our nephews, Grant & Gabe's 1st birthday!!!! Sunday @ church will be a little difficult because I will be 34 wks (which is how far along I was when I lost Mason) plus it's All Saints Day and Mason's name will be read in memory. But I'm going to be strong and know that God & Mason will and are watching over us...esp now.

So I guess I'll be updating tomorrow w/doc. info...so make sure to check back :-)

It's Official!!!

32 weeks 4 days...

So we've been going back and forth on Clay's middle name...and we have officially decided.

Clay Briley Lance

The reason why it's official now...I'm having a blanket embroidered for him for his dedication @ our church. I wanted his full name on it and the church's name and the date. My due date is 12/15 so I know he won't be here any later than that...but we've got his dedication set for 12/20. I wanted it done in December because Crystal was dedicated then. Plus he's going to be wearing Jeremy's dedication outfit when he was a baby and it's a 0-3 months but looks pretty small. At the rate Clay is growing he'll be born @ about 8 lbs. which is good because Crystal was 7 lbs. 13oz.

Jeremy & I have also talked and decided that if my doctor will still let us...we are going to go into the hospital on 12/4 for induction that night and he should be here 12/5. I am a firm believer of "don't count your chickens before they hatch" but I also feel like doing this and setting these dates are important for me to stay positive and know things are going to alright. Plus as far as the induction goes...we have to make sure we give whoever is going to be watching Crystal (which I know the 1st night will probably be his mom and dad) plenty of time to arrange their schedules for work. It might be crazy talking about December...but if you count the weeks...it's only 6 more weeks until that 1st weekend of December!!!!!!

So just some decision making we've decided that I wanted to share w/everybody. Everybody who has been here for us and sent prayers our way are more than welcomed to come visit us @ the hospital, The Women's Hospital in Newburgh, IN (as long as you are 110% healthy :-) ) and join us @ Hillside United Methodist Church on 12/20/2009 for Clay's dedication. Trust me...getting Clay here safe and sound and healthy is soooooo important to us and it'll be a true celebration when that happens :-)

F.R.O.G - Fully Relay On God. That's what Jeremy & I taught @ the last children's church and I believe that is what is going to get us through the next 6 weeks.

32 weeks...getting closer!!

32 weeks 1 day...

I had my weekly doc app. today and things went really good!! My sister-in-law, Bethany, came w/me to help watch Crystal while I was in the ultrasound. I really wish they could have come back...but got to stick w/the hospital rules until he gets here...hehehe!!

My ultrasound was 1st. During this we got to see him breathing and his little heart was pumping away!! This is kind of funny now...but @ the time it wasn't. When the tech put the doppler on me right away we saw him breathing and his heart. She mentioned that was a very good sign and we watched him breathe for 2 1/2 mins. I guess she was sooo excited to see that happening that she forgot to tell me some info about this event. All of a sudden he just stopped breathing which made me come up out of that chair and ask why. She said that's common @ this age and the further along I get...the more he'll continue to breathe for longer periods of time. Talk about giving me a stroke!!! He passed his BPP is 3 mins but the tech didn't want to let me go just quite yet (this was a different one from last time and I liked her lots better!!).

She found both of his feet. Oh..and I forgot to mention he was laying sideways w/his head to my right and on his belly. So...one foot was in my stomach and the other one way up by his head. Very flexible is all I can say...lol!! We discover that on one foot his 2nd toes might be longer than his big toe. The other toes on the other foot looked all in line. He's also got long skinny feet...which he gets that from his daddy :-) So after asking around we have discovered that his pappy (Jeremy's dad)...his toes are like that on his left foot. I'm anxious to see which foot has the longer toes now :-)

We also got to see his little hand make a fist and he's got some hair growing!!!!

We couldn't get a good 3D front view because of his face being buried...but we got a decent 3D profile. This little fart does not like to be bothered w/while he's sleeping either...he had his hands over his ear and he was making his "mean face". He mean business when he's sleeping...lol!!! He has to be a redhead to already have this kind of attitude...lol!!!

Then I went to see my doctor. They were all excited that I bit the bullet and got the H1N1 vaccine last Thurs. My BP was 106/40 and I had gained 2 lbs. I got in trouble for over doing myself Sat. night @ the soup supper. I told her about this pain I had in my pelvic area and she asked me if she needed to tie me to a bed down stairs in the hospital...lol...so no more of that. Oh and when she walked into the room to see me, I was in deep conversation on a play phone, that me and Crystal were playing with, talking to Crystal's stuffed animals @ home. She laughed and said she now knows all my stories are true that I come into the office telling...LOL!!! She also said I needed to have a baby every year to keep the office entertained...NO WAY will that be happening but I will miss them :-)

I have my next app. set for 10/26. I have @ 1030am the NST, ultrasound afterwards, then to see the doctor. Then for the next week I will be going every Tues & Fri. I think Tues. are ultrasounds and Fri. are NST. This way they can keep a close eye on his movements and if anything bad is going to happen (which shouldn't because so far things all look really good) then they can take Clay. It just so happens that I have an app. on 11/6 which is the day we lost Mason and it's a NST so I just pray his heart beat is really easy to find and they get on that right away.

Please continue to keep all of us in your prayers because it's getting sooooo close that I can feel him in my arms and I can't wait to get him here safe, alive, and crying :-)

Enjoy the pics!!


His 3D profile. You can see his arm bone and little fingers covering his ears and that little face making his "mean face"...lol!!

Regular front pic of his face and that's his fist under that fat little cheek!!

This was when he was breathing. On the top are his ribs.

This is the foot that was by his face. The tech said these toes all look in line.

Here's the little foot that was in my stomach and the one that his 2nd toe might be longer than his big toe!!

His little fist...I think he was wanting to knuckle punch me and the tech for waking him up during nap time!

Showing the back part of his head and his spine

His HR was 157 BPM

Half on his little boy parts...still for sure a boy!!!

Crystal's 4th Birthday & Party w/"Hannah Montana" & Friends!

31 weeks...

This past weekend was filled w/sooooo much celebrating and it was soooo much fun!!! It all started w/Friday. Actually Friday wasn't a lot of fun because we finally realized where our water problem in our bathroom was coming from...the water heater was about to explode!!! It was leaking in several different places and needed out of there ASAP!!! So Friday night Jeremy and his dad replaced that for us...which left a pretty big mess in our laundry room (it wasn't the guy's fault...it was all the hot water heater). So there was about 6 hours of work and cleaning that got skipped out on that we were suppose to do for Crystal's bday party the next day. I think Jeremy & I finally got to bed around 1am. Then we were up @ 7am to start cleaning and straightening for Crystal's BIG birthday party for that night. We ended up getting almost everything we needed to done.

Crystal's party was "Hannah Montana" themed so we let her pick out a Hannah Montana outfit to wear. You can't have a new outfit without new shoes...so her 1st bday present from us was her Hannah Montana shoes!!

Her and Daddy checking out those cool Hannah Montana shoes.

She is one style'n chick there!!! I think she was blowing me a kiss...lol!

Her party started @ 5pm. We had vegetable soup & chili for everybody to eat. Both soups were soooo good!!! Her mamaw Kelly made her cakes...like always...and they turned out soooo cute & neat!!!

One of the cakes Kelly made.

I LOVE this one...it's soooo neat!!! Great job Kelly and thanks sooooo much!!!

On Crystal's invitations we put on there that a surprise "celebrity" guest would be appearing. Crystal didn't know about this part...so it was a true surprise for her! So since we had a Hannah Montana themed party...who better to have @ Crystal's party than "Hannah Montana"!!!!!!! Crystal was sooooo surprise and shocked she didn't know what to do!! She was a little shy @ first but got over it. "Hannah" came out and sang 2 of Crystal's favorite songs..."Best of Both Worlds" and "The Climb". Crystal sang her little heart out on The Climb because that is her favorite song!!

All the other little kids that were there was soooo surprised too and was excited to see "Hannah Montana". "Hannah" stayed around and we all sang Happy Birthday to Crystal and she even gave Crystal a present...The Hannah Montana Movie. Crystal was in "awww"...lol!!! After cake we tried to get pictures of people w/"Hannah" and then she had to leave. It was sooooo neat and I don't know what we are going to do for next years party...lol!!

"Hannah Montana" & Crystal singing to "Best of Both Worlds".

"Hannah" and Crystal singing "The Climb"

"Hannah" & Crystal after their concert. Crystal had a blast w/all of that!!

"Hannah" giving Crystal her birthday present...the Hannah Montana movie. We've already watched it 2 times now...lol!!

After "Hannah" left Crystal got to open her presents. She got soooooo many cute things and loved all of it!! Thanks to everybody who got her something!!!

Crystal, Jeremy, and some of the little girls opening up birthday presents.

We always do a hayride for her birthday party too. Every year the hayride gets a little bigger and this year we almost need a 2nd wagon...but we got everybody on. I opted not to go because my doctor has said all this pregnancy not to be riding on anything bumpy. I have been good all this time and things seem to be going in the right direction...so I didn't want to chance anything. I really missed going...but I know we'll be able to go next year ;-)

The wagon full of hayriders ready to go!!

Again...I can't thank everybody enough for coming out and helping us celebrate her birthday!! We along w/Crystal had a blast and it was soooo nice to see everybody and get to talk! It was really nice to see Jeremy's uncle, Patrick" who came up from GA & Jeremy 's aunt, Amy, who came up from KY. I wish gas was free and we could see everybody anytime we wanted :-)

On Sunday we all slept in and skipped church...sorry...we all needed the sleep that we got. We got ready and headed Clarkville, IN to go to the Bass Pro Shop. We go every year around all our birthdays and Crystal has a blast over there! She played her Leapster that she got for her birthday all the way over and then on the way back fell asleep while playing it...lol!

Then Monday was her official birthday...the BIG 4 YEARS OLD!!! I can't believe 4 years can fly by sooooo fast!! She woke up knowing it was her birthday and was crazy all day long!!! She got to open her presents from me and Jeremy. She was sooooo excited about everything she got and didn't know what present to play w/first! Then later that day we had to go to Evansville for mine doctor appointment. I'll have blog about how that all went here in a little bit. She did good for the most part of the day...put the craziness from her excitement was wearing on me and Jeremy and only wished we could have had 1/4 of that...lol!

Her birthday presents from me & Jeremy.

Tissue paper makes the best wrapping paper for little kids!!

Her Barbie Camper and car...she played w/that camper all day long!! Good idea Daddy :-)

So that about sums up our weekend...it was super busy...but we had sooooo much fun seeing family and friends and seeing Crystal so excited and happy!